My god dude, do it for Ramsay Street if you’d do it for Eurovision. Open your home and your heart on Friday, July 29 (Thursday, July 28 in Australia) and pour one out for the Erinsborough team. Because they merit a proper send-off. They’ve been stuck in a stressed-out washing machine cycle for 37 years (intense soil). Karl Kennedy, kidnappings, drownings, fatal rivalries, infidelity, murder… Why have they all been forced to wait in line and take turns setting the Lassiters Complex on fire, developing amnesia, and being married to Paul Robinson?
To bring some brilliant Australian sunshine into our gloomy, gloomy life is essential for us. The least we can do in return is to host a farewell party for them. But how should one proceed? What desserts or decorations should I make? What are the music and clothing requirements? Don’t worry about it, as young Jarrod “Toadfish” Rebecchi could say. Cobber, we’ve got you.
How to Watch in the UK and When
You’ll recall from your youth that the best gatherings begin about 1:30 p.m., preferably on the toadstools at a McDonald’s location. The crowd will be eager to get the festivities started for the customary “off sick/summer vacation” Neighbours time slot. Settle in for the penultimate episode of the show, which airs at 1.45 p.m. on Channel 5 in the UK. In this episode, “a new arrival ruins Clive’s grand gesture to Jane; Toadie and Melanie’s wedding plans progress even though questions remain unanswered; Karl and Susan prepare to face off against Izzy.” The identity of “the new arrival” may not be revealed in the official Channel 5 summary, but Mike Young is revealed in the accompanying image. Mike Young is the newcomer.
Then, due to streaming, you may watch that episode as many times as you like until the second official showing at 6 o’clock (according to our calculations, that’s a total of eight viewings, by which time you’ll really be in the Neighbours spirit/needing assistance). Keep watching Eggheads at 6.30 p.m. to have two hours to have “a rager” before the hour-long finale begins at 9 p.m.
In addition, if you haven’t been to Erinsborough in a while, please do so to catch up on the latest plot developments. In a nutshell, Paul Robinson only has one leg and there is now a person by the name of Paige.
Yes, you could put furry ears on a headband, paint your nose black, and go by the name Bouncer; you could get some denim overalls, a curly wig, and a bottle of Swarfega; or you could put some work into it, as shown in the example below.
- Evil Harold You’ll need a rope, a burgundy cardigan, a length of checkered clothing, and an air of nihilistic resignation. (Would make an excellent couple’s costume with Strangled Paul Robinson, who is identical to Regular Paul Robinson but Quieter/More Purple.)
- Ted, Harold’s forgetful alter ego You’ll need a Salvation Army outfit and the befuddled good humour of a Christian who can’t figure out why he gets excited when he hears crows cawing. Also try: Afro Harold, or better yet, don’t at all.
- The Fruit Bowl that Saw Jim Robinson’s Last Breath You’ll need Sellotape and satsumas.
- Mrs Mangel You’ll also need a golden Labrador, a strand of pearls, a brutally critical streak, and Kramer from Seinfeld’s hair.
- Karl Kennedy, A stethoscope, a receptionist, and a cold shower are things you’ll need.
- Kerry Bishop Died Guarding the Duck A beak, two wings, feathers, and a pang of guilt over the suffering you’ve caused in this world are all you’ll need.
- The Drain Where Lucy Robinson Lost Vision After Falling Down You will require bricks and darkness.
Beverages & Snacks
In honour of their creator, the second Brad Willis, serve your guests a variety of Robinsons Fruit Shoots and smoothies. Your list of signature drinks is as follows:
- Susan Kennedy Ingredients: one part milk, like Susan drank in 2002, which temporarily caused her to forget her past and think she was 16 years old, and two parts vodka (she is a teacher).
- The Ideal Combination. Ingredients: an ice cube, a shot of each alcoholic beverage you have on hand.
- Helen Daniels Ingredients: two pieces To one part Jack Daniels, add Jack Daniels. Yardley Morning Dew, a spritz.
- I also love you, Clarkey. Tears are a component.
You should honour Harold Bishop’s vegetarianism by resisting the urge to “put another snag on the barbeque” unless the snag is just filled with mushroom protein and sawdust.
You should order traditional Australian delicacies like lamingtons, lollies, fruit pavlovas, vegemite sangers, and a show-stopping centrepiece resembling Harold from the Great British Bake-Off. Sponge-cake head, two arctic rolls for legs, jelly belly, and chocolate buttons for eyes. Make Lou Carpenter, his arch-enemy and best friend, out of Rice Krispies and melted marshmallows, with glistening licorice wheels for his seductive eyes.
You probably already considered using the office printer to print bunting with the faces of your favourite Neighbors, but for a fancier option, why not cut out just one of their most distinguishing facial features (for example, one of Des Clarke’s ears, Lou Carpenter’s crocodile smile, Henry Ramsay’s curly mullet, or Dorothy Burke’s straw hat) and have your guests guess who it belongs to in exchange for a fun prize.
If possible, throw your finale party in a pool with a swim-up bar, but if that’s not possible, spread some plastic on the floor of your living room, fill up any holes around the door with trash bags, and turn on the water faucet to create the atmosphere of a pool party right away.
One is to leave Erinsborough and enter the real world, giving you access to all of Kylie, Jason Donovan, Stefan Dennis, Natalie Imbruglia, Holly Valance, Craig McLachlan, and the numerous artists of their calibre who were born in Neighbours.
The second option, also known as the connoisseur’s choice, is to stay in-world and make a playlist that only includes Harold and Paul’s experimental bass and brass band, Tuba Electrica, as well as Oodles O’Noodles’ back catalogue and young Toadie’s favourite moral panic-inspiring rock band Battery Acid.
Pin Madge Bishop’s tail on the cat. Musical stools (use the theme song for the love of god). The game Ruth or Dare requires your guests to either respond to a trivia question on the little-remembered Ruth Wilkinson from 1996–1999 or accept a Neighbours-related challenge. Additionally, there is an egg and spoon race where each egg is hand-painted with a different character’s face (Harold, make them all Harold.)
You’ll have the most grouse, least daggy Neighbors goodbye party in the block if you strictly adhere to these directions.