Saturday, December 10, 2022

Home and Away: Baddies are holding the kids hostage in a shipping container

The yellow lighthouse. Channel 7 is responsible for this picture.

A kidnapping isn’t supposed to make you laugh, but here I am, laughing out loud at my desk while my coworkers get on with their jobs.

Bella, Nikau, Ryder, and Chloe, the four twins, have been kidnapped and are being held hostage in a shipping container.

“Don’t touch her,” screams one of the boys. I have no idea who it is, but it doesn’t matter.

Chloe believes she has sprained her ankle, which is meant to add suspense, but it’s been overdone to the point of being comic relief.

It’s also very dimly lit. So there are a lot of voices mixed in with bursts of Bella’s bright yellow raincoat, indicating that we’re back in the shipping container because the majority of the show is night scenes, which are difficult to see in broad daylight.

Still I’m getting ahead of myself. Returning to the abduction.

The children scream and pound on the walls without being terrified.

But fear not, because Ryder isn’t just a cocktail connoisseur; he’s also been binge-watching YouTube and has practically broken his cable links and set himself free before rescuing his mates.

We’re not sure how he did it because it’s so dark, but it’s probably for the best because cracking them open in fact is impossible.

A few token lines are always yelled out by the kids.

Ari is having another D&M with Mia as the kids contemplate their doom.

“Now I’m different.”

By repeating the same conversation every few days, the producers are getting a lot of mileage out of this script.

Tane arrives home and interrupts the conversation, but they quickly resume their conversation and reminisce about the good old days.

Mia is acting coy, as if she isn’t interested, but they kiss passionately in the front doorway, where everyone passing by will see them, before going into the bedroom.

We all saw it coming: the will they won’t they moment. Channel 7 is responsible for this picture.

Mia says, “I’ve missed you,” as they cradle each other in their arms.

It’s as if I switched to MAFS by mistake, because Ari has found himself a new lover at a breakneck pace.

“This time, I’m not going to let something get in the way,” Ari tells his brother. But it’s something he should tell Mia.

They continue to talk about their future together the next morning, but Tane interrupts because the kids didn’t come home last night.

They have no idea that their lives are in grave danger.

The container’s doors have been opened, allowing them to see daylight for the first time in hours. However, none of them are deafeningly deafeningly deafeningly de

Paul – the creep who is after Tane for drug-related purposes – and a group of people in balaclavas are the ones who save Nikau from his friends’ clutches.

As he is being carted away, Nikau says, “Leave my friends alone, I’ll do whatever you want.”

Nikau, number , is singled out. Channel 7 is responsible for this picture.

Tane receives a call from Paul.

Tane bows his head in humiliation.

“What are you looking for, Paul?” Ari asks.

Tane and Ari are what Paul needs in exchange for the kids’ safe return.

Tori sowing doubt in Leah and Justin’s minds is much less entertaining.

Tori continues to rant about their “dream house’s” problems, but BudgetMcDreamy advises her to calm down.

Leah grinds her teeth as her almost-sister-in-law continues to talk. Channel 7 is responsible for this picture.

Tori extends an olive branch and declares that he has gone too far.

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